Posted in Writing, Writing quotes & humour

9 Reasons why you should never check a writer’s search history #amwriting #writing

We writers love to google stuff. If we’re not writing, or staring into space, or messing about on Facebook, or—Okay you get the idea—then there’s a good chance we’re googling something to do with our latest Work in Progress. Let this article serve to comfort both our loved ones (who should really know better than to check our search history anyway), or police investigating a missing person (because hey, we may be a writer, but we do draw the research line way before it gets close to reality. And that missing person case is totally different to the one we wrote about in our last book).

So, why you should never check a writer’s search history.

1. The shock: Looking up baby names doesn’t mean the family is about to expand. No, there are no new puppies or babies on the way—unless there are, which is technically possible because even writers procreate and / or can get suckered in by cute puppies with big eyes.

OMG I need a puppy!

writer search history...baby names

2.The criminal: It’s really important to know the consequence of committing <insert crime here> in <insert country here> in <insert year here>. That doesn’t mean we’re a time-traveller about to rob a bank in 1932 Peru.

Writer search history

3. The weapon: Finding a futuristic weapon design on our computer doesn’t make us the next mad scientist. We just wish we were, because we’re pretty sure even a mad scientist will earn more money than a writer.

writer search history...futuristic weapons

4. The killer:  No we have never made a bomb or killed someone in the vacuum of space, but it’s important to know how.

5. The Personality disorder: Searching ‘personality disorders’ doesn’t mean we think we’re a paranoid schizophrenic with OCD, nor do we suspect our nearest and dearest to be bipolar!

Oh, but now that we’ve googled it they do tick a number of the boxes…

Writer search history...personality disorders

6. The doctor: No, we’ve never needed to make a temporary splint for a broken leg, nor do we have that obscure and highly infectious disease.

<Pause here while I make a doctors appointment>

7. The survivalist: Just because we’ve researched how to live on grubs, can find water in a desert, and can make a temporary shelter out of old tin cans, doesn’t mean we think a dinosaur-ending sized asteroid is about to hit, but if it did we could probably survive.

8. The sexual deviant: Yes, we really did need to research that obscure sexual practice…for a story.

Err…and that wasn’t the kind of whipped I was looking for…

writer search history...whipped cream

9. The body: Googling ‘how to hide a body’ doesn’t mean we have just done away with our evil boss, and if our boss has suddenly disappeared, it’s nothing to do with us, honest!

Writer search history...how to hide a body

So, now you know better than to check a writer’s search history, and we can all sleep much easier tonight.

Happy googling and writing🙂

Posted in Writing, Writing quotes & humour

How to cure procrastination – write like a frog #amwriting

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Frogs, not one of natures most obvious masters of writing. Yet Kermit appears to be beating his keyboard with a certain level of industrious, even exuberant, energy.

So, what can we learn from Kermit.

Well, sometimes you need to think about what you write, and sometimes you need to stop thinking and just sit down and bash the damn keys…with the enthusiasm of a frog.

Yes, you may at first write a little garbage, but something amazing happens if you can just push past your normal inclination to check your Facebook, twitter, blog, email, make a cup of tea…or forage for food.

You already made five cups of tea, have eaten numerous snacks, and yes Facebook will survive with out your attention for the next…say hour or so.

That amazing thing that happens is the miracle where all the good stuff comes pouring out. It is there, just waiting, you just have to hit the keys.

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Now, get back to your keyboards, you crazy fools and write like a frog!
Posted in Writing, Writing quotes & humour

The neurotic worries of a writer #amwriting

Worrying about our next review…

writer worries...what will our new review say

Wondering if building and extension and introducing a cataloging system means our reading list is a little out of control…

reading list out of control

Fearing we made a mistake by killing a character…Fearing we made a mistake by not killing a character…

writer worry...

Suffering a sense of concern that our edgy thriller has lost its edge…

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Hoping we can survive the counselling after finishing a great book

So, you say her name was Alice?

Her name was alice

Posted in Writing

5 Most Overused Science Fiction Tropes (and why it’s okay for you to use them)

One of my favorite meals on planet earth (or any other planet I’ve been to) is a great filet mignon with mushrooms and red wine reduction. What is better?  What is a more cliche romantic…

Source: 5 Most Overused Science Fiction Tropes (and why it’s okay for you to use them)